Culture

It's got an impeccable cast. But how does it stack up to the original trilogy?

Ocean’s 8, By the Numbers

You might not think of Steven Soderbergh’s Ocean’s movies as a summer franchise, or at least not in the same class as the ones about superheroes, or intergalactic outlaws, or Tom Cruise hanging out of airplanes. But thanks to George Clooney and the combined star power of the rest of the Ocean’s Eleven cast, Soderbergh managed to turn a breezy remake of a ‘60s heist movie — where the main M.O. was basically just “Sit back and watch some cool actors act cool” — into a series that would go on to inspire two blockbuster sequels and now one heavily-anticipated spinoff.

And, on paper at least, Ocean’s 8 is the perfect successor to those Soderbergh Ocean’s movies. It’s got the cast: Sandra Bullock as Debbie Ocean, sister to Clooney’s Danny.1 Cate Blanchett. Anne Hathaway. Rihanna. Soderbergh involved as a producer. A plot that involves a gang of cooler-than-cool women ripping off the Met Gala in order to steal a $150-million-dollar diamond necklace from Cartier.

But this is a series that’s had a somewhat up-and-down track record when it comes to sequels. It’s also a franchise where numbers are everything — the size of the score, the crew, the potential prison sentences. So how does Ocean’s 8 and its all-female crew stack up against Clooney’s eleven? And can it possibly live up to the Internet’s collective expectations and top the trilogy’s take, or is it less than the sum of its parts? I crunched the numbers to find out.

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Years since the last Ocean’s movie: 11

Years since Mindy Kaling first predicted an all-female Ocean’s reboot2: 7

The combined box office take of the Ocean’s trilogy: Over $1.1 billion worldwide

Reasons why Ocean’s 8 finally happened: See above.

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Rotten Tomatoes score for Ocean’s Eleven: 82%

Rotten Tomatoes score for Ocean’s Twelve: 54%

Rotten Tomatoes score for Ocean’s Thirteen: 70%

Rotten Tomatoes score for Ocean’s 8: 72%

Time I’ve spent trying to figure out why the other Ocean’s movies spell out their numbers, but Ocean’s 8 doesn’t: Almost two whole days

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Career Oscar wins for the Ocean’s Eleven crew: 4

Career Oscar wins for the Ocean’s 8 crew: 4

Career Grammy wins for the Ocean’s Eleven crew: 1 (Carl Reiner, for Best Comedy Album)

Career Grammy wins for the Ocean’s 8 crew: 9 (Rihanna, for basically everything)

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Women with major roles in front of the camera in Ocean’s 8: 8

Women with major roles in front of the camera in the entire Ocean’s trilogy: 3

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Women with major roles behind the camera in Ocean’s 8: 4

Women with major roles behind the camera in the entire Ocean’s trilogy: 1

Women with major roles behind the camera in the original Ocean’s 11: Ha.

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Years since director Gary Ross’ last big movie: 6

Female directors I’d rather have seen direct Ocean’s 8: A lot more than eight

Reasons I can think of why they couldn’t find a woman to direct this instead: Zero

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The total score in Ocean’s Eleven: $160 million

The total score in Ocean’s Twelve: $198 million

The total score in Ocean’s Thirteen: Over $250 million

The total score in Ocean’s 8: $306.4 million

Sibling rivalry: Advantage, Debbie.

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Times Debbie Ocean was mentioned in any of the other Ocean’s movies: Zero

Times Danny Ocean is mentioned in this movie: 6

Times characters explicitly question whether he’s really dead: 4

Percentage of the movie spent paying respect to the late Danny: At least 10%

Chances you’d think Ocean’s 8 would be about avenging Danny’s death: More than 10%

Plot elements Ocean’s 8 “borrows” from Ocean’s Eleven instead: 99.9%

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Cameos by a member of the Ocean’s Eleven cast: 23

Cameos by a member of the Kardashian family: 3

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Slick, hyper-stylized montages: 6

Flashy transitions: I lost track after the first 10 minutes

Star wipes: Regrettably, none

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Scenes set in venerable New York City institutions: 74

Scenes set in the subway: 1

Scenes set in a Subway restaurant: 1

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Scenes stolen by Anne Hathaway: 6, or more

Badass jackets worn by Cate Blanchett’s character: 6, or more

Times I rolled my eyes at Rihanna’s Rasta hacker character being called “Nine Ball”: 6, or more

Blunts smoked by Rihanna’s Rasta hacker character: 2

Times Rihanna has stolen the Met Gala IRL: 8

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Foreign languages spoken by the Ocean’s 8 crew: 3

Years I spent not knowing Sandra Bullock speaks Dutch: Too many

Times Helena Bonham Carter’s Irish accent drops out: At least 105

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Members of the Ocean family allegedly “put away” by James Corden’s insurance investigator: 3

Times this character has been mentioned in the previous Ocean’s movies: Zero

Chances you’ll buy James Corden as a slick insurance investigator who could get one over on George Clooney: Also zero

Reasons why James Corden was cast: Over 8.1 million (AKA the number of views on his latest “Carpool Karaoke” video)

One-liners given to the Ocean’s 8 crew: Fewer than you’d think

One-liners given to James Corden: More than the rest of the eight combined

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Time Debbie Ocean spent perfecting her plan in prison: 5 years, 8 months, 12 days

Steps in the plan: 14

Minor setbacks: 3

Tense close calls: 3

Last-minute twists: 2

Total people conned by Debbie and her crew: 34 (including, but not limited to, the entire Vogue HR department, one unsuspecting Wheaton terrier enthusiast and a minimum wage-earning bus boy)

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Martinis enjoyed: Only 1, surprisingly

Ukrainian meat platters enjoyed: 26

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Total runtime for Ocean’s 8: 110 minutes

Time I spent enjoying Ocean’s 8: 90 minutes

Sequels I’d watch featuring the Ocean’s 8 cast: As many as they want to make.

References   [ + ]

1. Who we’re told is now dead. Or at least allegedly, since A) no one seems entirely convinced that isn’t just another con and B) producers wanted to give themselves an easy out in case they’re able to convince Clooney to show up for a sequel somewhere down the line.
2. She also successfully predicted an all-female Ghostbustersmovie andthe ensuing backlash. Time travel is real and Mindy Kaling is proof.
3. Supposedly, Matt Damon shot a cameo too, but it didn’t make the final cut.
4. To be clear, yes, I am counting Vesleka and Papaya King here, even though they don’t technically have landmark status. Yet.
5. To be fair, this could be a meta callback to Don Cheadle’s horrifying Cockney accent in the Soderbergh trilogy. Or maybe I’m giving them too much credit.
6. So, to answer my earlier question, yes, that means Ocean’s 8 officially tops the original Ocean’s trilogy.